• apayne1002

How I'm thinking about trust as an attitude

If you saw my last Insta story, you know I attended a local TEDx event that centered on a theme of trust. It got me to thinking about trust as an attitude and not just an emotion. Often times when we hear trust, our minds immediately go to personal relationships – at least my mind does. Yours does too, am I right?

Attitude influences emotion, so I wanted to explore what trust looks like beyond ‘Yes, I trust him or her.’ Here’s why (you guys know I like to state my case): Trust transcends personal relationships and when we limit its significance to just one aspect we risk shortchanging ourselves of the richness that trust plays in our total lives.

Here are a few areas I’m challenging myself to have a more trusting attitude:

Trust the process. I had a conversation with my brother recently about a job offer he was considering. The offer came with a hefty salary increase in the short term, but long term wasn’t the path he wanted to pursue professionally.  How many times have you been faced with a similar situation – a short-term gain that doesn’t sync up with the long-term plan? My advice to my brother was to not take the job; to be patient and trust the process.

When people say “trust the process” they’re simply encouraging you to hold firm to the plan you’ve laid out. To believe in the power of declaring what you want and walking in your plan to make it happen. To be patient. Sometimes things don’t happen in our time. But I’m finding solace in knowing that the process is leading to an outcome intended just for me.

Trust yourself. As a mother, wife, professional, even as a writer, I’m constantly second-guessing my decision making. Think about it: throughout life, our parents guide us, our teachers instruct us, our friends counsel us, and our significant others probably do all of the above. So it can be hard to listen to and trust your own voice. But no one knows your complete narrative like you do. When I go to my husband for advice, I don’t share EVERY single thought I’ve had about a topic. Not because I don’t want to share but because who can remember every passing thought?!  I say all that to say, there’s nothing wrong with consulting your trusted circle, but also know when to look internally for that unique, personal perspective that only you will have.  

Trust, to learn if you can trust. Sadly, I am not a trusting person. So this idea of trusting something to learn whether you can trust it speaks to me. As I alluded to earlier, we put a premium on trust as we think about building relationships, but not so much when it comes to navigating life as a whole. If you’re questioning whether you can trust something, trust it. People and situations have a way of showing their true colors in time.

Trust authenticity. If you get nothing else from this post, get this: authenticity wins. We live in a media-dominated world, and I say probably 25% of it is real….and that’s being generous. It’s sooo easy to get caught up in ‘Keepin’ up with the Joneses’ – her pics are sexier than mine, her writing is more humorous, her career looks more exciting, her relationship looks happier, blah, blah, blah. And before we know it, we've created this persona thinking it'll get us further, faster. Whether it’s in your career, your relationship, your parenting, or your social media presence, stay true to you. Nobody can be Angela like Angela can be Angela, you know? And people are drawn to authenticity. So be authentically you. It's more than good enough. 

Trust is powerful - it influences so many of our actions and attitudes, sometimes without us even realizing. In certain aspects of my life, I feel its presence; in other aspects, I feel its absence. And, truthfully, I’d like to feel its presence just a little bit more.

#parenting #people #relationships #self #marriage #career #family

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