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  • apayne1002

Why I decided to #bloglikecrazy

You know that sinking feeling in your belly you get juuuuust before you do something you’ve had to work up the nerve to do? That’s me every time I hit publish on a blog post. Is it true to my voice? Will people read it? Does the narrative make sense? Maybe I should just take it down. It’s maddening!

The truth of the matter is that I LOVE to write. But putting your talents out there for people to react to can be scary – the world isn’t always kind, ya know? Vulnerability is just half the beast, though.

The other half of the hairy beast is consistency (yes, I like to assign physical attributes to problematic nouns).

For years, I've dealt with this internal struggle to be a more consistent writer outside of my day job. And years later, I'm not sure I’m much closer to winning that struggle. As life demands more of my attention, time, energy, and effort, my aspirations of writing get buried deeper and deeper. A friend of mine posted a simple, yet thought provoking, question on Facebook a few days ago:

"What's stopping you from achieving your goals?" My answer: "Me." 

I could say my failure to blog more regularly is because I'm a busy mother and wife or that I have a demanding career and there's simply no time. It sounds meaningful and noble and it's easy to convince myself that it's true. The truth is there's always time - it's just a matter of using it wisely, planning, and prioritizing.

Enter the #bloglikecrazy writing challenge put forth by See Jane Write. The challenge is to blog every day for 30 days, November 1-30. I’ll be honest, the thought of cranking out 30 blog posts in 30 days gave me anxiety before my fingers even touched the keys. Still, I raised my hand and said “I’m in.”

\\There's always time. It's just a matter of using it wisely, planning, and prioritizing.\\

I typically don’t do these types of challenges. You see, I want to write when I feel like writing. To give into writing ideas when they hit me. None of this writing from an editorial calendar business. Simply put, I don’t want writing to feel like a chore or something I need to get done.

So why not skip #bloglikecrazy and continue doing your own thing, in your own time?

Because I can do more. I need to do more.

I was listening to a Courtney Kemp interview and she said something that stuck with me.

“When you are in a position where you feel vulnerable, that’s where good writing comes from.”

The vulnerability that comes from sharing my story, my way will likely always be a constant. But in this instance, nothing makes me feel more vulnerable than broadcasting my intent and then falling short.

So I have to hold myself to a greater level of accountability.

I have to deliver.

Day one down.

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